Fiction Book

Fiction Book Review

How to Suck at Keeping Your To – Read List

Morning, everyone! I hope you are feeling great today. Who has a-mile-long to-read list? Raise your hands. Geez, I knew it! It’s a problem that spreads like a plague. Every bookworm has it, for Heaven’s sake. There’s no cure, unfortunately. Well, there is actually, which is to grow another pair of extra eyes to do the extra works.
People say a problem is not a problem unless you allow it to be. I have some tips for you on how to turn it into something really (un)cool that probably earns you the attention you (don’t) need. Let me tell you how to handle your never-ending to-read list, the bad-ass way.

Add everything to your to-read list

One of the best way to solve a problem is to not consider it as one. So add those sparkly new books you found this morning on Goodreads. It’s not a problem, why stop? It’s not like you are growing Jack’s magic bean tree. So add everything you can find. Mystery, chicklit, dystopian science fiction, cook book, yoga guide for beginner, anything. I don’t care what it is, just add. If you are trying to gain followers/friends on Goodreads, this sure will add an impression of you being so smart.

Brag on the internet on how long it is

… and while you’re at it, don’t forget to whine the lamest whine ever. See, if you’re into superheroes, many of them don’t like their superpowers. They want their gifts erased, they want to live like other everyday blokes and gals. That’s what makes them superheroes, they act as if their gifts are nothing important and guess what, that attitude really impress tons of people. So, be a superhero copycat. Whine at your blog post, your Facebook status, your Twitter tweets, anywhere you like. Your to-read list is your superpower, whine at it! If it works for those superheroes, it will work for you too.

Pretend that it makes you panic

Make sure you readers and followers are aware of your condition. The more panic you seem, the better. It will create an impressions that you get tons of books to review from publishers/authors and that can only mean one thing: popularity. Instead of reading the books, showcase books you get and say “gosh, how I am going to read these all!”

… and if everything fails …

DNF them all! Nice and simple. There’s no law that you are required to finish each book you read. Ain’t nobody got time for that! Let me tell you one thing, my friend. In order to be a professional troll your online image is everything. You want them to believe in you. DNF tons of books creates an impressions that you are not easy to please. Yes, the high-standard you! Sounds quite prestigious, isn’t it? It is! Your readers would admire you like a rock star. Every book you manage to finish will be considered as literary masterpiece. Who cares if it’s infant teething book with only one word per page?

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My rambling time is over, but yours, is just beginning! (I love Mister Maker!). How long is your to-read list? How do you keep it trimmed? Bring it on, people!

Steven

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